Dukan Diet
by: erin.
Girls on diets are super annoying.
Whining about being “fat” is usually just fishing for compliments.
I tried this because my clothes don’t fit the same anymore and I can’t afford to buy an entirely new wardrobe. If you are rich I would recommend just buying new clothes therefore circumventing the whole “annoying girl” bit.
There are three “phases” to it and I only did the first one which is called “ATTACK PHASE”. I couldn’t bare to go through any more “phases” because of the stupid names. Just kidding that’s not why- it was because it was stupid and annoying of me to be on a trendy diet.
Anyway. ATTACK phase. If you are vegetarian you will probably want to kill yourself because you eat only protein for 2-10 days (I did it for 5). So like you can probs only eat dairy, eggs and tofu. If you are vegan you will commit suicide because you can only eat tofu. I have my suspicions Dr. Dukan created this diet to rid the world of vegetarians and vegans aka convert them to meat-eaters. (I don’t mean, like, kill them). He is racist towards non-meat-eaters and also he is French.
whatta perv!
Verdict: The ATTACK PHASE is fucking expensive. Turns out you can only have 1 tbsp of dairy a day which means the rest basically has to come from pricey, lean cuts of meat. If you still want to lose weight and are poor I would therefore recommend just starving yourself. You know, two birds…lose weight while saving money. I. Am. So. Insensitive. Oh! And I don’t think I even lost any weight! But I’m not sure because my scale is from the 1950s and doesn’t work.
17 annoying bitches out of 10.
