Pravda Vodka Bar
by: Eric
In Soviet Russia drinks chase you (out the door)!
Nope.
Pravda is a dopey Soviet themed vodka bar. All the servers wear vaguely soviet military jackets. There are lots of Soviet decorations on the wall. Things looked Russian I guess. Everything is red. They serve vodka. Get it?!
I’m not against theme bars its just that this one was stupid. It’s not like I’m an expert on Soviet Russia but I do understand that it was horrible and then teetered off. For our Western imaginations it was mostly horrific and oppressive and evil until the 1980’s, and then after it was clear that Ronald Reagan won it turned into a big joke.
Back to Pravda which is a Soviet Theme bar which is neither terrifying nor funny. I think it’s hip but for an upscale sorta place to be hip it should make me feel like a piece of shit and under dressed, which it didn’t. Even after I knocked over the menu they stood it on a table immediately to my left for the FOURTH TIME. Why was it so important that the menu stood on the table. IT DIDN’T HELP ANYBODY!
Also they played Motown the whole night, which I am never one to disagree with, but that’s pretty pathetic for a SOVIET THEMED BAR. It’s pretty much the opposite of Soviet. And why was there a man playing a muted trumpet over top of the Motown songs on the stairs?
On the plus side I was with excellent company. And they served a tray with cured meats and pickles which is never bad. Also I had a shot of vodka and it was by far the best I’ve ever had (in other words it didn’t taste like robot piss). Also they were tasteful enough to exclude decorations of Stalin.
OVERALL: A bar celebrating a pretty rotten government lamely and using that as an excuse to serve $12 Martinis. NO WAY JOSE (Stalin). But really who gives a shit because I am not their clientele. If I want a soviet themed night I will make homemade vodka out of ethanol and turnips and sit on cold concrete and pretend I’m getting ulcers because of my secrets.
IT SHOULD BE POINTED OUT THAT I WAS SICK AND CRANKY DURING MY VISIT
STILL
RATING
69/1917 [LAME]
(extra 69 points for cured meat platter)
